Movie spoiler alert below, read at your own risk.
Recently we rented 'Bullet to the Head' starring Sylvester Stallone. Let me start off by saying, if you cannot stomach movie gun violence this film is definitely not for you. The film starts off by introducing us to hit man Bobo (Sylvester Stallone) who just so happens to be on team 'bad guy'. Soon after, we also meet Detective Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang) who is the cliche clean cut, rule following 'Good guy'. Stuff happens which requires for the two to team up. Original, right? Does anyone else do this, whenever there is an actor in a movie you recognize, even if you don't know their name you start to list out all the movies that they have been in?
One of the very first things I noticed when the movie first started were Sylvester Sallone's veins! I swear those things were an inch in diameter. If he were to ever donate blood, the nurse could have their eyes closed and still be able to find a vein. Another thing I noticed were convenient item placement. For example, near the beginning scenes Bobo is in the bathroom, just finished washing his hands and went to the paper towel dispenser to dry them off. A man who is trying to kill him approaches slowly from behind. Conveniently, there is a mirror on the paper towel dispenser so Bobo was able to notice his potential killer and was able to defend himself and get away. First of all, have you ever seen a mirror located on a paper towel dispenser!? I guess it doesn't make any sense to have a mirror placed on a wall? It would have been more believable if the paper towel dispenser was metal and Bobo was able to see the other guy in the metals reflection. But anywho, moving on...
In one of the first scenes with Detective Kwon, in summary people are trying to kill him and he has to run away. This brings up a question I've always wondered. Why don't cops/detectives wear sneakers? It would be a lot more comfortable and a lot easier to run in. When I first seen Detective Kwon, the first thing I noticed was his face. So smooth, beautiful and wrinkle free. Whatever face cream he is using, I want it. We eventually get introduced to a few other characters one of them being played by Christian Slater. I did a double take and said to myself 'huh, he's still alive?'. His hair looked great in this movie, I don't know if he had work done or if they made him wear some sort of wig, but you could barely notice his receding hairline.
Eventually in the movie Kwon gets shot and Bobo takes him to a tattoo shop to get patched up. That is where we meet Lisa the tattoo artist and shop owner. My first reaction was, please be his daughter because if it turns out they are lovers I will vomit in disgust. Thankfully Lisa did turn out to be Bobo's daughter to my relief. One of the many laughable moments in the movie is when Lisa removes the bullet from Kwon and sutures him up. Kwon asks Bobo how his daughter knows how to remove bullets and suture. He casually throws out that she took a year of med school. Well, the flaw here is that in medical school the first year is strictly book work and classroom study. So Lisa being able to learn how to remove bullets and suture up a wound is unlikely. Now, if he would have said that she learned how by watching YouTube, that would have been more believable.
Somewhere in the movie Bobo and Kwon are in the car and Bobo briefly mentions that Asians can't drive. Clearly Bobo has never seen Tokyo Drift starring Kwon in a past movie life. There is another scene in a bathhouse with Bobo. Bobo had a towel wrapped around his neck which mostly covered his bare chest. I wonder if this was done on purpose so we wouldn't see Sylvester Stallone's geriatric body deteriorating before our eyes. For the most part, I got lost in the plot early on. But lets be honest, it didn't matter and there was no need to rewind, if anything maybe I should have hit fast forward.
Overall review, good enough rental if you enjoy action flicks. Don't pay more than a $1.50. Have you seen it? Let me know what you thought.
-Milo
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