I was in the mood to watch something sad. I've heard reviews that this was a very sad J-Drama. I have my tissues at the ready.
Once again I will document my experiences, thoughts, feelings through each episode. Spoiler alert on the below content read at your own risk.
Episode 1
At the very start of the episode we are already made aware that Aya the main character has an illness. But the episode later flashes back to before they find out. My first impressions is that Aya has a good family. No tears have been shed yet but it's sad knowing that at some point the family will experience heart break.
In the episode we are also introduced to Aso Haruto who helped Aya get to her exam. My first impression of Haruto, if emo was a trend in Japan he surely would be sporting the black eyeliner. He clearly has something going on with him that's making him depressed. From what I've read this series is from 2005, was anyone else blown away that Haruto was listening to a walkman? A walkman, you need actual cassette tapes to use that! I must also point out, in Haruto's bedroom he just has guns hanging on his wall like wallpaper as if its no big deal. Red flags anyone?
Other random notes, you would think being "Class Representative" would be fun but it turns out its like the worse job on the planet. You have to deal with a bunch of uncooperative assholes. "Who wants to be class representative?" I would hold up a huge sign that says "Not me!".
Episode 2
Aya keeps running into Haruto in this episode, must be fate. In this episode Aya's mom finally accepts that her daughter has an incurable disease. The mother finally tells the father and he as one can expect does not take it well. The episode I feel mostly focuses the parents coming to terms with accepting the diagnosis. They still have not told Aya yet but she is starting to suspect that something is seriously wrong with her.
If I had a child with an incurable disease would I tell them? I like to think that I would so that they could live life to the fullest. But then again one can never really know until put in that situation. Its definitely a tough spot to be in :(
Episode 3
In this episode I realized that the walkman I initially seen was actually an MP3 player. What was great is that they actually addressed the outdated technology and why Haruto still treasures it. In this episode we get glimpses into Haruto's past. Through the episode he is still acting emo. As far as Aya, it's hard seeing deteriorate. I absolutely agree with the doctor that Aya is at the age where she can choose how she wants to live. Aya knowing that something isn't right starts putting the puzzle pieces together and finds out on her own that she has an incurable disease. I have to admit I shed some tears in this episode. Especially when the doctor had a flashback of his first patient and how he explained to the mother the importance of why they should tell Aya what is wrong with her. It is hinted that Haruto finds out that Aya is sick. Haruto's father is also being cautious for Haruto's sake because he knows that Aya is sick and does not want Haruto to experience the same pain and loss he experienced during his brothers death.
Episode 4
My first question when watching this episode is when are they going to tell the family? The siblings have a right to know so they can cherish each moment with Aya and not look back and think, I wish I wouldn't have said this or that or I wish I would have spent more time together etc. In this episode we also find out that Haruto did not find out about the disease last episode but he is able to figure it out this episode, smart cookie that Haruto. Haruto is turning out to be a really good guy even though he has yet to crack a smile.
Aya looked absolutely beautiful in her yukata. Even her hair looked super cute. I want a yukata they are so pretty it just puts a smile on my face. In this episode Aya gets stood up by her date. Haruto showing that he has a heart runs to her so she won't be alone. When Haruto was running in the rain he had no umbrella. When he gets to Aya he has an umbrella in hand. He either stole an umbrella while he was running or stopped to purchase one at a shop.
Episode 5
This episode focuses on Aya and how she feels like a burden to everyone around her. Aya has great friends who stand by her and Haruto is turning into a great friend. Im curious if the rehabilitation Aya is doing is intended to slow down the process. Haruto who is very well aware of her disease has been researching and looking out for her. There is a scene where Haruto is at the hospital and after speaking with the neurologist he bumps into his father. In this scene I am unsure if the father is pressuring Haruto to become a doctor or if he was being sarcastic. Haruto father wants him to cut off all ties with Aya and Haruto more or less reacts by rolling his eyes and does his own thing.
Ayas siblings are starting to realize something is wrong. Aya came out of the hospital in worse condition then when she went in. Finally the parents break it to the rest of the siblings that Aya has an incurable disease. It was a very sad scene.
Throughout the series I've been thinking of this, Aya still goes to school. In Japan high school is optional, if I had an incurable disease I was say screw this and quit school and live everyday to the fullest. Seeing movies, going for walks, being outside, looking for adventures. I would not want to be in a classroom day after day prepping for exams. But then again, I'm not much of a school person.
Episode 6
Its no surprise that we start seeing Aya further deteriorate. Aya's doctor is concerned that the disease is progressing faster than he originally anticipated. Unable to participate in her original club activities Aya has been hanging out with Haruto more and helping him in the biology club. By the way, who would have guessed the biology club was so intense, feeding hamsters, scrubbing turtles sampling water etc. Has anyone else noticed there seems to be only 3 people in this club?
A hard scene to watch is when Aya's little brother Hiro is getting teased by his teammates because of Aya. Hiro starts to feel ashamed by Aya but is quickly given a reality check and is regretful for his initial feelings. He loves his sister very much. I needed tissues for this episode!
Aya's baby sister is the most adorable person ever. This episode opens with Aya now in a wheelchair. As I was watching the episode I kept asking myself, "why doesn't this school have an elevator?" But they later explain its because the school is old and not equipped. The school officials are suggesting that Aya go to a school for the disabled. Aya is determined to stay in the same high school because she doesn't want to leave her friends. Much has been taking away from her already and that is essentially all that she has left.
When Aya's mom was in the PTA meeting, I couldn't help but notice how selfish the other parents were being. They point out that Aya often attends class late and that their kids grades are dropping because of Aya. First of all, if your kids grades are dropping just because someone is in a wheelchair than they clearly need to study more or spend more time in cram school. That's just a silly excuse.
When Aya's friend was angry at Aya for not telling her that she was going to quit the basketball team I did not understand why she was so pissed. But thankfully they eventually made up.
Episode 8
You'll need to grab some tissues for this episode. Haruto is giving off some more emo vibes. I'm so amazed at how the mom can manage to smile through all the hardships. Aya's mom has decided to quit her job to be able to help Aya more and Aya's father has planned to pick up a 2nd job to supplement the finances. Aya overhears the class talking about how much Aya is having a negative impact on the class and how its a burden. Haruto sticks up for Aya and calls the class out on how they can be nice to Aya's face but talk bad about her behind her back. The sweetest scene was when Haruto carries Aya down the stairs.
Not wanting to burden others around her Aya has decided to go to the disabled school. She tells her mother that she doesn't need to quit her job and tells her father to just focus on making tofu (they own a tofu shop). In this episode you really see the strength in Aya.
Random question, when Aya is crying Haruto pulls out a handkerchief and hands it to her. Do the youth of Japan today still use handkerchiefs? Fascinating!
Episode 9
Aya has moved up to an electric wheelchair. She is now adjusting to her life at the disability school which is like a boarding school. Haruto asks Aya out on a date and they go to aquarium. The aquarium fits Haruto so well, he such a hard core biology nerd its adorable. It was funny how when they were looking at the puffer fish Aya said it was just like Haruto. Later in the episode Aya now has trouble speaking. Haruto confesses to her that he likes her, maybe, probably. It also looks like Haruto has decided on his career path, he is aiming for medical school.
Episode 10
Why do I torture myself with sad dramas? This episode opens with 2 years passing and Aya graduates from the disability school. Haruto has gotten into to medical school at the same university/hospital where his father works. Aya decides that she wants to stay in the hospital so she can do more rehabilitation. The scene where Aya is trying to make it to the bathroom but falls, these are the scenes where I ask, where is the nurse call button? A hospital with no nursers running around? Aya's mother and Haruto father speak, Haruto's father goes on to admit that Aya has inspired Haruto and brought him out of his emo shell. The episode ends on a sad note when Aya writes a letter to Haruto and breaks up with him. She knows that her life path will end and Haruto's will continue. She knows its not possible for her to ever get married. I knew they were going to have to resolve the relationship eventually but it's still sad.
Episode 11
Last episode, 2 years pass and Aya and Haruto have not spoken. Haruto's father mentioned that Haruto is back to his emo self. But thankfully in this episode Aya and Haruto manage to become friends again. I particularly enjoyed how Haruto scolded his upper classman for talking to Aya like she was a kindergartner. Aya has been publishing her diaries and it has been inspiring others to keep fighting. The card that Haruto read to Aya was very touching. Aya was happy that she was helping others and even offered to donate her body to science for research. 5 more years pass when Aya passes away. I am surprised I did not cry as much as I was anticipating. It was sad don't get me wrong but it was expected and well done. Im curious if they have made any progress in finding a cure for her disease by now. Definitely something I will need to google.
Overall impression of this J-Drama, very good but very sad. What makes it sadder is that it's a true story and in the real story there is no Haruto that is able to stand by Aya's side. The pictures they would show at the end of each episode are like needles stabbing me in the heart. Slowly deteriorating, it really is a cruel disease.
I would definitely recommend watching this drama but only for those prepared to cry their eyes out.
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